What does it mean to love yourself?
When the world’s best personal trainers train clients, they advise clients to find the reason behind their actions.
Because, they say, when times get tough and cravings take over, “looking good” will simply not be good enough. It won’t keep you motivated to keep going.
I’ve been preaching “love yourself” for as long as I remember. For me, it’s been the secret ingredient to living a happy life.
The secret to not be swayed by worldly obsessions and be constant in what you believe in.
“Accept who you are — with all your flaws — and you will find contentment.”
But two weeks ago — minutes before I watched Chicago for the very first time — when I was asked by my confident aunt Elene what it means to love yourself, I hesitated in my core belief.
And on a Sunday morning, when I watched the Netflix series ‘Special’ and Kim — the character who is confident in her plus size body — asked the very same question (what does it mean..?), I wondered if there was an error in my teaching.
Because if the people we celebrate for being confident in their appearance, are still insecure, surely something must be missing?
Surely we should be able to achieve a place of happiness — free from insecurity?
For the past two weeks, on the advice of motivational speaker Robin Sharma, I’ve been trying to wake up at 5 AM to do what he calls the first victory of the day.
But, day after day, despite going to bed earlier and packing out my clothes for the day ahead, I oversleep.
I stare at my alarm, and simply snooze into the next hour, and I’ve been asking myself why I am unable to break the cycle.
On Sunday, while I was contemplating this — trying to find ways to deal with it — I was reminded of biologist and conservationist Steve Boyes who at 21 gave up his university degree, packed bags to go into Africa, and is now on a quest to save the Okavango.
Along the way, Steve became a TED senior fellow, a National Geographic explorer and helped declare the world’s largest conservation area.
He followed his passions, and his success was a result of his passions. His passions fueled his success — not the other way around.
And perhaps my unwillingness to wake up at 5 am is because I focus on the result more than the reason why.
Perhaps I should stop comparing myself to those who’ve done it — trying to compete with them — and do it because I believe it’s best for me?
And perhaps loving yourself means accepting your unchangeable flaw — instead of trying to be confident about it.
Instead of chasing the result — confidence — perhaps loving yourself means just loving your very being without the need for outcomes.
Because if you truly love yourself, I believe, you don’ have to prove it. You won’t have to overcompensate with confidence.
You don’t have to repeat it to yourself in mirrors — or think of ways you can try to manage it.
Because, it simply becomes a way of being. An unchangeable fact of life.
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